Monday, April 16, 2012
President Obama vs. Mitt Romney Meet In The Center of The Ring (Humor)
Announcer-In this corner we have President Barrack Obama, his hobbies are taking time for vacation, spending money and playing golf, he is a good family man with confusing Christian beliefs. The President tells us he is a Christian, but votes for Gay marriage, abortion and bows to Muslim dignitaries.
In the other corner is Mitt Romney, he is one of the one percent. He has more money than God and has his own way to worship God. Mitt Romney is a Mormon and he is proud of it. Mitt Romney created Obamacare before it was Obamacare. On the other hand, he has created jobs for many people and he is a good family man. His wife has not had to work a day in her entire life, but has spent time bring up the Romney children which is quite a job in itself.
The two men meet in the middle of the ring and refuse to shake each other's hands. President Obama dances around the ring like Muhammad Ali, while Mitt Romney looks like he is afraid to mess up his hair. Who will win this battle of attrition?
President Obama-Your wife is unemployed
Mitt Romney-That is because of your economic programs. You are making sure there are no jobs for women in our economy. Your wife is fat and your mom wears combat boots. Your father is not a citizen and your are not qualified to be the President of The United States. He sticks his tongue out at the President and dances around the ring.
President Obama-At least my wife works
Mitt Romney-When she's not on vacation
President Obama-You are rich and I am going to tax you so much that your wife will have to go out and get her first job. You don't pay your fair share of taxes and I will make sure you do.
Mitt Romney-Making money in our country is important. I have created more jobs in my personal businesses than you have created in four years in the White House. You are the welfare and food stamp President. You take from the rich and give to the poor. Who would ever have though that Robin Hood would become President of The United States?
President Obama-68 million people believe I am the change they can believe in. All you are is a rich man who is a member of a cult. I am an ordinary American who believes in God.
Mitt Romney-If you want to bring religion into this, don't make believe you are a Christian and then live like a Muslim. You act like you hate Christians, so how are you really a Christian?
President Obama- I am a Christian because I say I am a Christian. I separate church and state, this means I can be a Christian and vote for anything I want within our government. I keep my personal beliefs at home where they belong.
Mitt Romney-Have I told you your wife is fat yet?
President Obama-I am going to punch you so hard your unemployed wife is going to feel it. (President Obama dances around Mitt Romney) I am the king of the world and don't your forget it!
Mitt Romney-Your government is almost as big as your wife's behind
President Obama-I bet my wife could take your unemployed wife. You think my government is big now, wait until I take all of your money and all of your friend's money away from all of you. Wait until my Health Care program goes through. You and your wife will have to stand in line and I will make sure you don't even get a taste of health care. Don't get on my bad side Mitt, you won't like me when I am angry.
Announcer-Mitt Romney jumps out of the ring and steals President Obama's teleprompter. He slams it on the ground and breaks the teleprompter into pieces.
Mitt Romney-What do you think about that Barrack?
President Obama- Uh Oh Uh Oh Uh Oh ummmmmm. I'm getting angry.....
Mitt Romney-Obama Care sucks and the Supreme Court is going to tell you what to do with your Obamacare
President Obama-Romney care sucks too
Mitt Romney-At least I gave people a choice. I did not shove it down their throats
President Obama-Yeah, but I am President of The United States. What do you think about those cookies? Wait until I make you eat them..... The entire world will eat those cookies because I want them too.....
Announcer-The teleprompter is back
President Obama-I apologize about those comments. I meant to say Obamacare will make sure all people have the chance to have good healthcare
Mitt Romney-Except handicapped people, old people and the people you don't think need government healthcare. Obamacare will be a death sentence for many people and millions will die
President Obama-Only you and your unemployed wife, (President Obama giggles to himself)
Announcer-The crowd is getting restless. Many are chanting Obama. One of the people in the crowd bit me. I realized too late it was an Obama Zombie. I have to sign off before it is too late. The chanting gets louder.
Obama, Obama, Obama, Obama, Obama, Obama, Obama.....
President Obama is laughing happily while Obama Zombies are attacking Mitt Romney. They push him to the ground. His hair falls out of place. Mitt Romney tries to fix his hair. An Obama Zombie bites his hand off. Obama Zombies are all over Mitt Romney. They attack him, they eat him, they take care of him for President Obama.
President Barrack Obama stands in the middle of the ring, Obama Zombies are bowing to him. He is smiling, he is laughing, he is victorious Another four years of this, hide in your houses, hide your guns, hide your Bibles. Obama has won. It is over, hide your food. Michelle Obama is hungry...........