Monday, June 24, 2013

How to Prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse

We are told the rapture is here on May 21, 2011 and life as we know it is going to end. Mixed up people have been predicting this for centuries and here we still are alive and well. However, we have a problem, Zombies are real and they intend to destroy the world and everyone in it. Here are some ideas to prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse.

1. Buy guns, lots and lots of guns. Zombies will keep coming at you until you shoot their heads right off their shoulders. Suggested list of weapons-shotguns, handguns, automatic rifles, grenades, machetes, and whatever else you can get your hands on. The Zombies are for real this time, they are bringing the mother-load so you better be prepared. If you can get your hands on a M-60 machine gun, you are ahead of the pack.

2. Buy ammunition-If you think you bought enough, go back and buy some more. The Zombies will keep coming, so you have to have an endless supply of ammunition, come on folks, this is the Zombie Apocalypse

3. You need to board up your house to keep the zombies out. I know your neighbors will think you are crazy, but when the zombies come, you will be prepared and your neighbors will be eaten.

4. Enough water, canned goods and food supplies to last six months. We know the Zombie Apocalypse is coming, but we do not know how long it will last. When the Zombies get their sharp nails on your electric wires, your fridge will no longer be any use to you. This is very important, you cannot eat zombies after you kill them, they are poison to your heart, mind and soul.

5. Teach your children, wife and friend how to shoot. You need shooters in every nook and cranny of your house if you want to survive the Zombie Apocalypse. Your wife may think you are crazy at first, but when she sees them coming, she will thank you.

6. This is the most important and toughest part of this preparation. If anybody gets scratched or bitten, you must shoot them immediately. Don't spend any time mourning over your losses, the zombies expect this and they will be ready to eat you for dinner. If you prepare well, you won't have to worry about putting your wife down after the zombies take a bite out of her.

Tipsfunny zombie pie chart

· The rapture is not coming today, the dude who told you this is crazy

· However, the zombies are on the way, so you best prepare for the Apocalypse anyway

· Zombies are for real

· Zombie meat is tough and you cannot eat it, it is not like road kill

· Don't listen to your neighbors, they are crazy

· Don't listen to the authorities, they will be the first ones to go when the Zombies take over your town

· Keep this between us, they are watching you

· I am not crazy!!!
zombie evolution

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